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26. A GOOD MAN IN THE FIRE (March 2003)
"Nud!
"Nud!
"Get up!
"We gotta get out!
"There's a
fire!"
I was in the shower 6, 8
minutes before, and Nud was fast asleep. Around 1 AM I heard sirens, but in New
York City you always hear sirens. They approach, getting louder, your heart
starts beating harder, then they fade away again, into the distance, where the
other peoples' disaster is.
Sound stopped. But I
thought maybe I heard a rumbling from stopped fire trucks. Down the
block..across the street? For some seconds nothing. I turned the water on again.
I heard noises. I turned it off and got out and quickly dried, got in pajamas -
there were noises in the building, on the stairs, windows were opening...
Banging at the door!
"Get out! Get out!
There's a fire in the building!"
We fled, started down the
stairs, coats over our pajamas, me in shoes, she slippers.
On one landing - a Latin
family struggled with an old woman who couldn't walk. I wanted to keep going.
Nud was my priority. But she wouldn't leave the woman. I told her I'd run
downstairs, see what's up, be back. There was fire, smoke, sparks outside the
building, coming up through a grate in the sidewalk and we could get out (for
now). I ran up. The grandma couldn't move, her family and Nud uselessly hovering
around her. So I lifted her up, and then another guy got her by the legs and we
carried her down and out to safety, Nud and family hurrying behind.
(The firemen were at
work, no one would be hurt, the building would be fine.)
Why was I so brave and
good and strong? Come on. Why do boys do stunts on bikes in front of girls? It
was a male fantasy come true - to impress a desired woman through action. But
this was life, not wish, and Nud still observed me with the cool, unsentimental
precision of the female, the unromantic sex (despite all the stereotypes), and a
few months later anyway she left me, left me, left me.
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