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31. MY DREAM OF NUDJARIN (May 2003)

          After my wife left me I had many dreams about her, and this one was, for me, the most powerful. I was standing in the little hall between the four rooms of our apartment, and she was standing in the living room. She was nude, and beautiful in her nudity. Very sleek, brown-skinned, still. The difference was she had finally cut her hair very short, as she'd threatened to do so many times. Long hair may be beautiful, but it's a chore to maintain.
          I stood, looking at her in profile. In one of those transitionless transitions that are dreams she was suddenly in my arms, and she said "Fight for me!" "I've always fought for you", I told Nudjarin, holding her, tears in my eyes, and my voice breaking.
          In the movie his wife finally calls and he tells her the dream. Already she'd been thinking about returning, and now the rightness of it is so overwhelming she says, of course, "Yes, darling, I made a terrible mistake, but I am coming home."
          I told Nudjarin: "I had a dream about us. You were suddenly in my arms, and said 'Fight for me!' I said, 'I've always fought for you, sweetheart.' And I have. You know that, every second of our marriage I fought for you and for us."
          She'd long since determined to split, so this subconscious of mine, mere air irrelevant, this scene that never happened, wasn't even worth a reaction, and the conversation proceeded to the next subject, till it finally ended.

     

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